Learning Something New On Mommy’s Day Out

I have been dreaming about this day for 2 years. I started researching wellness retreats or resorts around the area for a nice getaway. Ones that I could afford, so not the one Gwyneth Paltrow goes to in the Hamptons, although it does sound lovely. 

I just wanted a place where I could get a massage, some other body treatments, use the sauna, walk in nature, not talk to anyone, think thoughts about my life, and have someone else cook my meals. I wasn’t asking for much. 

The dream would’ve been a 3 day retreat but I would settle on a day pass I guess, mostly because of the look my husband gave me when I said “there is this 3 day retreat..”

I found a place in upstate NY that did a day pass for $500 and that was almost 2 years ago. A few weeks ago I thought, hmm maybe when it’s quiet during spring break I can take one of those days and go up there and put my husband in charge of drop off and pick up for a day. It was a splurge for me and it pained me to spend that kind of money on just one day, but I had some Christmas money left over and some pocket money so I could make it work. And I decided I needed to start practicing what I preached—taking care of yourself.

My body has felt beaten down for months. After shingles and covid it took me a while to recover which led to less days working out so my hip pain came back. My body felt so tight no matter how much I stretched. I desperately needed a massage at least. But more importantly, I needed time to myself and my thoughts.

The days leading up were shaky—a notice about flu in my kids class, me starting to feel sick, my husband being sick, me starting to feel sick again…I tried to manifest happy positive thoughts. ‘Ok body, you will be ok. You can do this. You’re not sick,  you’re fine. We’re going to get alone time, you can do this.’

Finally the day arrived, I set out some things for the family, said my goodbyes at 6am and went on my way. I was booking it for my 1 hour and 40 minute drive–Listening to my podcast, feeling good….and then the tire pressure light went on 40 minutes into the drive.

Of course I didn’t know what the orange screaming exclamation point was at first, but then I started asking my husband to look it up while also trying to drive, and tried look up a YouTube that explained it to me, all while trying not to get crushed by a truck. This random YouTube man finally said ‘tire pressure’. 

Cool, cool. I don’t know what that means and I’m pretty much on a long stretch of road in the wilderness just trying to get to yoga class so not ideal.

Did I cry? Yes I did. Did I laugh maniacally? Yes to that as well. And as I was driving, and crying and laughing I thought, this is why people have complete meltdowns. THIS is how the joker became the Joker.

I yelled out, why are you always fucking testing me, Life?!! Why the fuck can I not have ONE FUCKING DAY TO MYSELF!!! One day without a fucking problem to solve???!!!

Live footage of my breakdown

I was beyond frustrated. What was the universe trying to show me? That I can’t always abide by a schedule? That I had to let go and that means missing yoga? That things will never turn out smoothly so I had to get used to it?

Are those rationalizations or excuses or truths? I still don’t fucking know.

I figured I would put in directions for the nearest gas station and see if someone can help me or at least look at the tires. But I had seen this horror movie before so I was weary. 30 minutes to the next gas station on the route, cool. Got there, looked at the tires didn’t see anything. Saw a couple of guys unloading a truck, contemplated asking them for help but there was no air machine I could see so what were they going to do. I decided to get back in and get to the place 35 minutes away and see if they could help me when I got there.

Then I thought, I’m going to spend my whole time there worrying about my tires and trying to figure it out. Maybe it’s better if I come to terms with missing yoga all together and dealing with this now so I can have a clear head all day. So I looked for a PepBoys on the route (there were none) settling for an AutoZone. Again, I don’t know what I’m doing but I didn’t want to be a typical rural gas station abduction story so I thought that was safest.

I go inside, tell them my problem and see if they can do anything. One guy mentions he has an air thing but it’s not very good. The other guy says he usually has a compressor (I don’t know what that is) but he doesn’t today. Told me the best bet was to go across to the gas station for air. Then I said, ‘here’s another stupid question: how does one put air in the tire?’. He laughed and said sorry about laughing and I said ‘no, no that is the correct response I would’ve taken nothing less.’ 

Once I got the basics I was off to do a loop around (through a drive thru first because I turned the wrong way) and then I went to the station. Looked at the jumbled wires of the machine and then looked around for help. No one. Went inside and said “I need to put air in my tires and it says I need quarters.” He gave me quarters and then I said ‘do you know how to use it’, and he said…no.

I looked out the window at an old man wearing a suit passing by and shaking his fists while looking into the store. It was only 8:30am. I decided, I can do this.

Today folks, is the day I put air in my tires for the first time. By myself. Like a big girl. It was the front left tire btw, that rascal—registered a 26 air knots (this is what you call them right?) instead of the 31 his friends were at.

Getting back in the car I realized the resort is 2 minutes away (well 5, because I went the wrong way) so I was only 30 minutes late. And yes I missed yoga but I realized, that detour WAS part of my alone day. I had to figure something out on my own. It was different and new and scary. But I haven’t had to do that in a long time. Every day is just the same, especially when you’re a parent. Routine, expectations, managing, planning, over and over again. 

It was a nice feeling to use other brain cells. And yes, I had a nice time. And this place was perfect for what I wanted with all its Shining vibes…alone time. I got a massage, read, wrote A LOT, used the sauna, gave up on understanding the steam room, watched a movie, and had 3 meals and juice I didn’t have to make for myself. I’d call that a win.

My view from the treadmill

Desolate. Just how I like it.

These giant geese were the worst. Security warned me about them. Why do they poop so much and why are they so aggressive?

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I Jinxed Myself

Well, I did it.

I praised myself for never missing a week of posting and then life got in the way and I missed this week.

And usually even when it’s crazy, I still make time to post even if it’s later on Wednesday but I could just not make it work this time.

My husband got Covid and was quarantining in our little apartment since Friday and I was on 24/7 toddler duty and I say 24/7 because he was waking up at night too and coming to my bed to roll onto my throat.

I couldn’t get it together and I really wanted to posted either Tuesday or Wednesday but I couldn’t fit another thing onto my plate.

But that’s a lesson right? Sometimes we have the best of intentions to do things. Sometimes we really, really want to do something but we have to know when to let it go. And I usually feel bad about that or like I failed in some way or that I didn’t do what I said I was going to do.

But I also remind myself that I can’t do it.. right now. I will again. Next week I will be better and life will be easier. But first we have to decide what things we can give up to make life a little less stressful for ourselves.

I used to feel like I had to do EVERYTHING. Everything on the list had to get done right now so I would push myself and stay up later than I wanted to and then regret it and feel angry and resentful. Now, I’m better at saying, ok this thing won’t get done today.

The other night my kid didn’t fall asleep until real late and all I wanted to do was drink a tea on the couch, watch 30 mins of a show in silence and go to sleep. I looked at the floor that I usually sweep every night and said, nope. Tonight you are not getting swept and it will be alright.

We give ourselves some grace, tell ourselves we’re doing a good job, and let it go.

You’re doing a good job. You got this.

** Thanks for listening! Don’t forget to like, subscribe, comment and share. It helps me know I’m not just talking to myself **

Does Meal Planning Save You Money?

My grocery budget had gone insane at the beginning of this year. Partly because prices are up but mostly because I don’t pre-plan my shopping anymore, or meals, or really have time to cook. I have a toddler and work full time, I’m barely making it.

In an effort to get back on track, I was wondering if pre planning would have a real impact on my grocery budget.

I decided the month of May to make a plan, and let me tell you, meal planning is hard. And I’m someone who loves planning, cooking, and food shopping. And it was hard. 

One reason people’s budgets are crazy is because there is no plan. If you wait until the last minute to figure out food, you will probably spend more than you should and eat out because it’s the easier option.

I love reading those articles about how people meal prep or show the weekly budgets and what meals they make. ‘I fed my family of six on $100 for the week!’. Ugh so inspiring and a little hard to believe. 

So much work goes into tracking that! A lot of times though, they are stay at home parents so they have more time to plan and make every single meal. It also seems to be like it’s their full time job as they cook 3 meals a day from scratch. It’s a lot of work to cook healthy food and eat well in general.

WEEK 1

I tried to make my plan and it took me a couple hours over 2 days to make my plan for the first 2 weeks of the month, choose my recipes, and make the list of what I need to buy at Trader Joes. I was exhausted before I even went to the store. 

I made sure that I would have time to do some cooking during the weekend and planned what I needed to buy on Saturday morning.

These are the meals I came up with to feed 2.5 ppl (toddler doesn’t eat much and everything is currently ‘yucky’):

• Fish tacos w/ slaw and pineapple salsa/ rice and beans
• Sausages, potato salad and sauerkraut 
• Penne with lemon, asparagus, peas and TJ artichoke sauce
• Buckwheat bowl with beans, sweet potato, onions, peppers and lemon- tahini dressing

Trader Joe’s groceries purchased 

Total: approx. $43-48 (I forgot to write down how much the asparagus was):

• GF battered fish $11.99
• Slaw $2.49
• Black beans $1.09 x2
• Tahini $3.99
• Sweet potatoes $1.78
• Peas $4.49
• Asparagus $?
• Lemon .98
• Potatoes $3.79
• Chicken sausage $4.29
• Sauerkraut $4.49

Groceries I had at home already:

• Buckwheat
• Frozen onions and peppers
• Rice mix
• Corn tortillas
• Condiments like mayo, oil, vinegars, mustard
• Penne
• Artichoke sauce

So right off the bat looking at this, I spent the amount we spend on 2 meals eating out ($43 and that’s cheap!) and got 10 servings of food. That’s pretty good!

And even if I had to buy the remaining ingredients I had at home that probably would’ve only been another $25 which is still cheaper than if we ate out 10 servings of food!

I prepped some ingredients at various times like cooking the buckwheat and saving it in the fridge for the next day or roasting the sweet potatoes in the oven when I had time. And some other meals like the fish tacos I made everything at the same time since my evening was more free. 

But since my time is limited, I had to schedule my cooking time for the weekend and made sure I had recipes that were relatively easy to throw together. The buckwheat bowls left a little to be desired because I created it off the top of my head, left out some ingredients I had wanted to add and realized afterwards it needed something salty like a feta cheese or olives.

I am also a fan of shortcuts so I used frozen onions and peppers that I had on hand and just warmed them in the pan for the bowls. And instead of making rice and beans from scratch, I had a boil bag of a rice mix I used and threw some beans in there. As good as my beans? No. But I worked with what I had to save time. 

That wasn’t so bad for one week….but what the hell was I doing for the other weeks?

I realize that it would be exhausting and like a 3rd job to cook everything from scratch and frankly, most of the weekends are busy or my toddler is sick from daycare.

I used to meal prep hardcore before having a kid and it WAS my 2nd job. I weighed things, pre packaged meals, cooked for 2 hours at a time…I really don’t have the time or energy to do that anymore. We have to know our limits and when to give some things up.

We’ve been getting meal deliveries for the last year to make my life easier but that is a little expensive and there is never a plan of when we get those vs. when I cook, so sometimes they overlap. That’s also why my budget has been crazy too, sometimes I had too much food on hand and it would go to waste and other times I had nothing and had to eat out. 

I planned to have a meal delivery (Blue Apron) the next weekend so I didn’t have to shop.

And we got a meal delivery (Eat Fit Go) the weekend after which freed up time that weekend to cook.

WEEK 2

I went to Stop n Shop the next Thursday and make a meal plan for the beginning of that week mostly based on what I had that I can use and only purchase a small amount of things:

• GF lemon and blueberry muffins
• Beef and bean chili with TJ GF cornbread
• Noodle stir fry with edamame and shredded carrots

Stop n Shop groceries I purchased:

• Blueberries
• Lemon
• And the rest of the list….I don’t remember because I threw out the receipt so I couldn’t even track how much I spent. Hot mess express. 

Groceries I had at home already:

• Noodles
• Edamame
• Condiments like coconut aminos, toasted sesame oil, and olive oil
• Frozen blueberries
• Ground Beef
• Beans
• Broth
• Diced tomatoes
• Onion and garlic
• TJ cornbread mix

Made the noodle stir fry and my toddler ate it up the first night saying ‘yummy yummy’. Mom happy dance! By day 3 it came back in the container from school. Toddler problems. 

After he kept me up all night, I managed to find the strength to make the lemon and blueberry muffins from a recipe I found on Instagram. They weren’t great and he refused to eat them. Froze most of them in hopes that he changes his mind in a few weeks. But probably I would just eat them. A partial fail. I don’t remember what happened the rest of the week cuz I was just trying to survive. Ah, life.

CONCLUSION

Overall, I ended up spending a little less that month on food from the planning. I continued it in June as well (didn’t cook as much though) and noticed that there was less food waste. Before, I was buying things in the hope I could use them and then ended up throwing it out because it went bad before I got to it. 

I’ve been meal planning with an actual paper calendar so I can see everything for the month.

1. A couple days before the month begins, I sit down with my calendar and put in all the dates I know we are definitely eating out, busy, or weekends I have no time to cook. 
2. then I mark the days I WILL have time to cook and work around that
3. On the back of the calendar I write out what I have in the freezer we can use, pantry, dairy, and fresh ingredients. I try to make a plan based on that first before I buy other things. 
4. Then I write down all the recipes I could make with what I have and what I would like to make, and start plugging them into days
5. I look at 1-2 weeks and come up with a plan
6. I make a list of things I need to buy at the market

Ex. I know I can cook on Sunday morning before my husband leaves for work, so I will go to the market on Saturday so I have everything ready to put together and cook on Sunday. That will cover me for Sunday dinner and leftovers for lunch Monday. If I have time I cook 2 meals that will also cover Monday night dinner and Tues lunch. 

Or Ill make a big soup that will cover me Monday-Friday lunches and all I have to worry about is dinner for all of us. 

FINAL THOUGHTS

Planning your month does make a big difference and helps you curb spending and reduce waste so I highly recommend it. It also does take a lot of work. I’ve been consistent since May, some months are better than others, but I feel less stressed about food when I do it.

And one day, I will be able to be the meal prep Queen again.

Do you meal prep? Have you ever tried tracking and found that it saved you money?

** Thanks for listening! Don’t forget to like, subscribe, comment and share. It helps me know I’m not just talking to myself **

NOVEMBER WRAP UP

WHAT I’VE BEEN UP TO:

What a wild month. My sons birthday party. They finally let us work from home 2 days a week (woohoo!). Thanksgiving. Deciding if we’re going to move or not (we pushed it to next year) and trading moving with traveling more in the next year instead.

WHAT WE ATE:

There were a lot of days not on plan—cakes, pasta, breaded stuff, pizza. Thankfully working from home lets me work out a little longer so I’m going to call that a swap. And I did lose a couple pounds in the last 6 weeks so everything is going well.

Made Sweet Potato Casserole for the first time for Thanksgiving which was really good courtesy of The Pioneer Woman.

Finally got to eat at Friedmans Restaurant (there’s several locations in Manhattan) where most of their menu can be made gluten free. It was such a joy to be able to share plates with my son who has a wheat allergy with minimal worry and he even got to try some new things

WHAT I READ:

No Drama Discipline by Dr. Daniel Siegel (reread)

Believe IT by Jaime Kern Lima

Human Design by Jenna Zoe

WHAT I WATCHED:

Started watching Darryl the Walking Dead spin off. It’s pretty good if you’re a fan of the series.

The Amazing Race—so sad it’s finishing soon but a new season begins in the new year! I travel vicariously through this show

TODDLER CORNER:

So much stimulation this month in the form of birthday gifts and celebrations. So much stuff everywhere.

He’s old enough to start family movie night Fridays which is really cute. Not so much of an attention span but he’s there for the snacks.

Brought him to another off broadway show for kids— Sesame Street Musical. It was really cute but his limit is about 40 minutes before he’s like, I’m outta here. It didn’t help that we got there 10 minutes early to our seats and then they delayed 10 more minutes for the parents who couldn’t be on time. Annoying.

I realized that I am Bert through this performance.

FAVORITE PIC OF THE MONTH:

I need this reminder for myself and getting better at letting things go and knowing my limits

** Thanks for listening! Don’t forget to like, subscribe, comment and share. It helps me know I’m not just talking to myself **

I’m Thankful For You All

Ok, so first I have to say I am very proud of myself. My goal was to start my blog again this year and to post once a week every week and so far I’ve accomplished that. Even the weeks it was hard and I was drowning (like this week). For those of you reading this, thank you. It’s nice to hear from people every once in a while about some of my posts ask well. Feel free to leave comments or ask questions. I love questions.

I also started writing again because I was on a journey last year to discover what the hell I wanted to do when I grew up. I haven’t found it yet at 38 but I am closer to understanding a lot more about myself. And I think the first step to knowing what you DO want to do, is learning what you DON’T want to do. 

I am much clearer in that so it is very easy for me to know if I want to pursue something that comes my way. I’ve had recruiters reach out on LinkedIn and when I read the job description I go ‘Ugghh and sag in my chair”. 

That’s a hard nope. And why? Because they are asking me to do what I am doing now and sit behind a screen all day. No thanks!

And it’s hard to put yourself out there on LinkedIn and let people know you are looking for something totally different from your current position when you don’t know how to name it. I don’t have a specific title. I know that it’s not sitting behind a screen, maybe it’s teaching people things, having a physical job and not dealing with a computer, maybe something that takes me from place to place and different locations. I don’t know. But I’ll know it when I see it. 

The hard part about doing this now, is that I have a kid to think about. I can’t just jump and take time off or a pay cut. I can’t just start working later hours or all night. I’m kind of locked into a schedule right now. But I know that I can do the best I can and keep working on myself and figuring out who and what I want to be.

So thank you again if you’ve stuck around. I’m glad to have you and I hope that something I’ve shared has helped you too.

** Thanks for listening! Don’t forget to like, subscribe, comment and share. It helps me know I’m not just talking to myself **