You know what’s really annoying? When you’re laying in bed at 1am writing an amazing blog post. In your head. Halfway through you’re wishing you had a mic on your insides so you can record everything because the sentences are flowing like a beautiful wild river. But if you stop then you’ll lose your place, and if you try to write it down it won’t be the same, because, let’s face it, remakes are never as good as the originals (please reference most of the recent movies).
The other night I was thinking about people and why they do the things they do: why they react a certain way, why they think a certain way, and all the other complex questions that make up humans. It’s interesting that the study of Psychology is defined as “the scientific study of the human mind and its functions, especially those affecting behavior in a given context”. Interesting, well since we are always in some sort of given context, and human are constantly reacting and evolving, then that means studying Psychology will be never ending. Talk about job security for those researchers!
Anytime you get an answer you get another “but why?”. He reacted this way…but why? Well, because this event reminded him of that other day…but why? Well that day was traumatic for him because…but why…..never an answer always a question. Maybe that’s why I found psychology so interesting. I’m a solver; I like mysteries and I like to fix problems. I especially found an interest in Family Dynamics and Brain and Behavior, I always loved those classes. Here are some of my ponderings:
- How is it that children raised in the same household can have such different personality traits and views?
- Why can two people react differently to the same exact event?
- Why do our personality or actions change when we change who we are directly interacting with?
- Why do we fear what we fear (especially when a traumatic event has not taken place to encourage it)?
I think it’s interesting that I am so adamant about getting things off my to-do list at work, I don’t like things sitting there so I complete everything quickly, meanwhile my home to-do list seems to roll over from week to week. I have projects I never finish. I’m the same person but I have different reactions in two different “contexts”. Is it because I view the work as a competition against other people and I want to be the best? I have no motivation for the home to-do list, who am I beating? Myself? Who’s going to congratulate me at getting things done? I can pat myself on the back but, eh, thanks no thanks.
I have a very extreme personality: things are right-wrong, black-white, yes-no. At work, I can make decisions and stick with it, everything I do I do with confidence. But when it comes to dealing with myself and taking risks I’m good at being uncertain and talking myself out of things. “Oh no, we can’t take that risk, what if it doesn’t work?” But I’m sure in everything else that I do, especially at work, and I even WALK like I’m sure about things. Some would describe it as a march even. But, switching careers? Opening a business? Even getting rid of objects….what if it doesn’t work? What if I give it away and then need it?….is this fear? Of what? Of the uncertain? Of failing? See, lots of questions. I don’t have that answer yet.
It’s all quite interesting and while I think that humans are terrible (to themselves and each other) they sure are fascinating. I believe myself to be pretty self-aware–I question my reactions and I think about things and I still don’t understand everything I do. I can’t imagine what it would be like for someone who doesn’t have any sense of themselves, or how they interact with the world, or even the ability to recognize any of those things in others. They just exist, I guess. That sounds sad.
Wouldn’t it be nice if we were all self-aware and could also be in tune to the reactions and behaviors of others? We would live in a pretty nice world.
Are you self-aware? Is there something strange in your behavior or reactions you can’t explain? A weird fear?
Life With Purpose (And Other Things) 